Monday, July 29, 2002
It's been one month since I blogged. Or Blaaawged, if you like.
It's a whooping 4am right now on 29th July - the first day of the new semester. And I am still wide awake at this hour. Another sleepless night where reality switches its pain valves open. What have I been doing? What was I thinking? Now I've got to try to reach inside the cookie jar to try and dig out the remaining bits and clean it up. Yet I know I'll get hungry again but cookies are running real short in production, so going on a diet is the best plan. Saving it for the downpour I am sure of but can never predict.
Want to work, but time in a day is only so much. Want to let the clockwork do its miracles but there's only so much yield it can give. Or I'll spend it away like the locusts do. How does that happen?
"Abide" - the one word that sounds so simple, yet so profound. A word we cannot comprehend fully until we are ready to deny ourselves - not suppression but surrender. Abide and all these things will be added unto you. Familiar? I can sense it in a song we often sing in our Sunday school services. But what does it mean to seek first. Put first? Everything else second? Even to a maggot infested leaking vessel? Work the boat or sit down by His feet? Mary or Martha? Pain or Pleasure? Abundance or poverty?
I'd like to buy the world a cloak and keep it company. No, I'd like to give up that cloak and sit down by His eternal fireplace and dwell in the monastery of His holiness - "and all these things shall be added unto you".
so be it.
*chucKie*
It's a whooping 4am right now on 29th July - the first day of the new semester. And I am still wide awake at this hour. Another sleepless night where reality switches its pain valves open. What have I been doing? What was I thinking? Now I've got to try to reach inside the cookie jar to try and dig out the remaining bits and clean it up. Yet I know I'll get hungry again but cookies are running real short in production, so going on a diet is the best plan. Saving it for the downpour I am sure of but can never predict.
Want to work, but time in a day is only so much. Want to let the clockwork do its miracles but there's only so much yield it can give. Or I'll spend it away like the locusts do. How does that happen?
"Abide" - the one word that sounds so simple, yet so profound. A word we cannot comprehend fully until we are ready to deny ourselves - not suppression but surrender. Abide and all these things will be added unto you. Familiar? I can sense it in a song we often sing in our Sunday school services. But what does it mean to seek first. Put first? Everything else second? Even to a maggot infested leaking vessel? Work the boat or sit down by His feet? Mary or Martha? Pain or Pleasure? Abundance or poverty?
I'd like to buy the world a cloak and keep it company. No, I'd like to give up that cloak and sit down by His eternal fireplace and dwell in the monastery of His holiness - "and all these things shall be added unto you".
so be it.
*chucKie*
