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New iPOD

Apple just announced the NEW iPOD. 10, 15 and 30 gig. Argghhhh!!!

I would like the 30gig iPOD thanks... =p

chucKie

The Trigger

There's a low hum in the room
Something seems to generate
As rocking chairs they still
And murmuring heads they turn

A rain drop falls
Running down my forehead
Drenching my scalp
With a sour after taste

The envelope of clouds
Pushes itself across the room
As ashes begin to pile up
Next to the bedside next to me

I breathe in your words
I taste the aftermath
Of brimstones and fires in your belly
How does it fill you now

The gunshot wound is still fresh
Crimson and brimming with red
I know not what I don't cry
But laugh my heart's content

I'm amused as I retell this story
Of how our worlds seem to collide
With all the sensibilities we live by
How silly it will be when we look back

So it's true, the trigger's pulled.

chucKie

Not Alone

I'm glad as I got to the team meeting tonight that I found out several people were down with that cold as well. Well, only one other person. She was standing at the counter, a small little girl with short black hair, asian with an australian accent. We had a laugh about how we felt so dazed the past week - Easter Break and we haven't even got to enjoy it - just stayed home to recuperate. Not until when we took the Nutriway Triple Shield Echinacea that we speeded up the recovery. I'm glad I got my bottle from my friend and popped several yesterday and by the end of the evening, I could calculate numbers mentally! Woohoo!

So now I'm getting that post cold feeling - that dry sensation around your nostrils, the finally clear breathable nasal passage and the body still lightly aching from the past few days of coughing, sneezing and blowing the nose. What a relief.

Tomorrow is the start of the week for me. Cold feet. Looking forward but not looking forward to the deadlines. Hate deadlines. Make living so stressed up for no good reason. Other than getting that head knowledge - doesn't do much good to my personal development, employability and spiritual health. But it's the pleasing of the parents and the gathering of some kinda accolade so that it advances you into the higher society to meet people who will make a difference to your life.

I'm just thankful I am here. I'm counting the blessings each moment I wake. But now I have to go sleep. There's a morning appointment tomorrow with Madonna. In Bed With, that is.

it's a screening folks. relax...

chucKie

Conspiracy

Have you ever felt that this world is sometimes conspiring something? Either to harm you or help you.

I have a feeling that I am going to get fired from my Gloria Jeans Coffee job. So is it something wrong I have done. Writing from a first person narrative, there wouldn't be much credibility, would it?

Anyhow, I've been good at work. Was one hour late the first time I went to work and was threatened with immediate termination if it happened again. It never did. This past week has been phenomenal, shall I put it? Fell quite sniffy since, what, Wednesday? Was expecting full recovery by Thursday but it was kinda blown up - I was coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose. My throat was sore, my head was murky, I was in a state of daze. Needed the rest. So called in sick.

This was Thursday. Saturday was m y next shift and I was pretty sure it would be better by then. But nooooooo. It got blown out of proportion. How could I do a 9am shift without coughing my way through work and passing the buck to everyone I come into contact with? So I sent an SMS to my boss. Couldn't talk on the phone. My throat was so sore and my voice was an embarrassment. Didn't hear from them since.

So tonight I've been trying to call them to find out my shift on Monday. All lines of contact were out. The home line, the two mobile lines and sms. No return of calls. No nothing. From 8pm I've been trying the various numbers. Then finally at 11.45, I tried the home line again and got two slams. You know when you've got your call slammed. It's pretty obvious. Tried one last time and the owner picked up. Said it was late cos it was 12 midnight. Sounded sleepy and pretty pissed. Said will call me in the morning.

That was it. I have no idea what's going on and I certainly want to know like ... now. But it's already that time of the night where if you are not asian you would be playing chess in your dreams by now. So I'll have to wait for tomorrow. Wonder what will be. I mean I don't mind losing the job. Just not for the wrong reasons. I would understand if they were pissed with me for not turning up for work for 2 days in a row. But what could I do? If they choose to be pissed and get upset with me, I wouldn't want to stay on, cos it will come up against me one day in the near future.

Let's hope this is just me being paranoid. Haven't felt conspired against for a long time. God, please hold me.

chucKie

Intensity

The room was filled with so much intensity. It was apparent in the flushed faces. She definitely hit it home really hard. There's so much more we could do to make the other person's life more meaningful and abundant. So why are we not getting out there.

Let's get over it. What it is, we have to get it out of the way.

What good is there when you have the passion for revolution but have no vessel to set it sail on? Come to the waters. Open your eyes. Humble yourself and see. For there it is. The true essence of living - to make the other person better off than you. Only then will you be blessed.

Carnegie Hall. 2010.

chucKie

New

How you like the new template? Ordinary and pleasant. Had to change it cos I kinda screwed up the last one with so many additional editing. Somehow, the template window does not allow you to cut and paste the html you wrote. Think it only happens in IE5.2 for Mac OS X. Silly IE!

Hopefully all the various links and interesting paparazzi will be up on the right column soon.

chucKie

Empty

Feeling quite empty now. Not that I am at this stage of meaninglessness. But the house is very quiet. Very vacant. Very spacious. Have many things around. Yet, somehow feels a little cave like. Prehistoric even. Like I've gone back in time. Gone out of the reality of this world. Imploded into an asteroid floating and gliding freely in this vaccum I've created.

Or maybe it's just my head swirling in the mucus membranes of my phlegm filled lungs.

yummyyumyum.

chucKie

Mid Week Haze

I'm down with a light throat irritation that's causing me to cough a little. Don't worry, it's not that deadly virus. Having said that, what a time to fall sick right? I mean, anyone can right now confuse hay fever with sars. I mean, shortness of breath, fever, cold...

It's just the change of the weather. Giving me shivering nights and a cold cough. Was talking to a friend over the phone and he was also sick - down with a cold. His office staff were laughing about it cos he looked quite under the weather - or in exact aussie slang - look a little crook. We both kinda figured that as long as we've not been to those hotspots, we shouldn't have to worry. Plus, the symptoms don't match.

So guys, don't worry. I'm fine.

I'm feeling quite at peace now, knowing that I've set my boat to sail. It's just a matter of getting there and getting outside of my comfort to make things happen. Reckless, Bold, Audacious. Can you believe it? Prophetic words. You don't have to understand, cos you won't. It's gotta do with the Matrix concept. When you find the truth, you walk into everyone's way and step on everyone's foot. When you are outside the inner circle of truth, the delusion is so strong that you feel the other person is deluded. So it depends on what you are after. After all, time will tell. I'm praying that I will bring with me people who will dare to step up the mark and believe.

Don't underestimate the power of passion.

chucKie

Guess what?

My pillows are nicely toasted and browned on one side - think toasted sausage roll. Me pillows and sheets were this close to catching fire. That's for leaving them in front of the heater for 2 whole hours!

Now they have a nice burnt smell - like your clothes freshly dried out in the sun.

chucKie

Chilli to the bone

I believe I've found the meca of my little existence here in Victoria. A few suburbs away, known as Doncaster, lies a little restaurant unknown to the general student population, except only to a few, called Malaya Inn.

Marvellous authentic real deal. No oily egg chiffon rice with combination soup. None of that Hong Kong fare you get sick of around Chinatown in the city. No deep fried flounder and no Vietnamese beef noodle. None of that commercial fake-o chinese take away food.

Real deal. The real food from home.

Hokkien Noodles - in the Singapore authentic style - stir fried wet yellow noodles and beehoon and beansprouts - full of lard, oil soaked, thinly sliced pork fats, prawns and chunks of squid, garnished with shallots, red cut chilli and sambal, drizzled with a wedge of lime - except it really isn't lime - it was substituted with lemon.

For the first time, I ate and perspired so much I had to ask for tissue paper. The chilli fix almost fried my ears filling it with what felt like scalding acid. Hands were shivering a little. Couldn't believe it was as close as I could get. Cos you know what? The couple who owned the place are from Singapore.

Now, I just need to find my Otah and my search for the meaning of life would be complete.

Did you know they have Fried Carrot Cake as a special once in a while? I am so going back there with a circus troupe!

chucKie

Chill to the bone

Never dreamt I would feel so cold. Two winters have gone and I've survived them like the eye of the tiger. Fearsome, facing the cold like its just my neighbour's harmless pet.

This time round, I seem to have fallen prey to my own devices. Or perhaps it's the house I'm staying in. I have a neck to believe that stone walled houses tend to trap heat and cold air very efficiently. It was really hot in summer and now approaching winter, it gets very cold indoors.

So, I went out to buy a heater. Had to pinch off my last $20 just to buy a small halogen heater to keep my bones from aching and my body from shivering so badly it makes my muscles sore. Can you imagine I have to wear a sweater in the house? It was so painfully cold that I had trouble trying to finish my essay - which for the first time in my academic life, is late. Yes, late late late! Couldn't justify trying to rush through the essay and get it over and done with cos I had so many ideas in my head - which haven't been approved by my tutor yet. Ironic isn't it? I mean, I didn't have the time to get back to her and only managed to get my research books from the library only like last week. And the essay was due like Thursday before the Easter weekend. Well, we'll see what happens. I have a hunch that my essay is like out of point but I'm pretty sure my ideas are very revolutionary in the way I see it. Hope my tutor buys it.

So yeah, now the heater's warming up my bedroom and I'm going to snuggle up to my warm pillow and sheets. Yum!

Oh yes, Happy Easter ya'll!
chucKie

Truth #1

Competence without accomplishment is worthless. Intentions have no value without results.

- Roger Fritz (Author)

chucKie

Feels Better

Sometimes when the feeling of falling can become such a feeling of peace, calm and traquility - that's when you know that something good is going to happen.

Just hang on to the ride. We're going places jan!

chucKie

Internal Combustion

Maybe it's angst. Angst that makes me feel terribly out of sync with where I should be right now. Out of sync with the expectations of the world and expectations I place on myself.

Maybe it's the deep levels of woe. Woe where the soul internalizes the viscious cycle of falling, failing and constant disappointments. Disappointments with what should be and where should be on whose ground it should have resided on.

Maybe I'm just out of my mind to dream, to open the door and discover for myself the truth behind the curtain. And conclude that it isn't just another Matrix movie or dejavu moment. It is what it is to the eye on the other side. Except there's this huge gorge and the fastest way to get to the other side is to jump, plunge, duck into the water and swim amongst sharks, angry mob of waves and poisonous jelly fish up to pull you down.

Or maybe my fear is just unfounded. Those deadly animals are just harmless corals.

facing my fears, squarely,
one by one...
chucKie

Breathe Again

The weekend is gone
In a huff and a puff
In a one way rush
Like an outlaw outdone

Work, work, and work
And work again
Days on end without rest
Without long periods of peace

Dry, parched, dehydration on a drip
My pay days are way ahead
While my wayward bills
Go round the wash at bay

Sell, sell, and sell
And sell again
Coffee, muffins and soda pops
Two cents for your song requests

Let it roll
This way too
Break the urn
And let it fall

chucKie

Connection

I have connection. Finally. After some weeks into months, I've finally connected successfully in a quite surprise turn of convenience and efficiency.

Tech support was quite top notch. The instructions were clear and the guy who helped me over the phone was brilliant, patient and completely in the know of what he was doing. Darn, didn't quite get his name. Nice efficient people deserve a mention, don't you think?

And now, I'm going to be late to meet Sarah.

chucKie

The Weekend

It's been a long start to the week and it still feels like it's Monday - the beginning of the week. The past few days zoomed by so fast I didn't even catch a breath.

That long weekend over up in Sydney was a blast. Caught up with a long time friend I had known for 14 years. Had so much fun camping out with the aussies - learning skills, attitudes and having so much fun. Don't know how to put it into words. Didn't realise that here on earth, I can find a group of people where I can relate to so much - people who sincerely and passionately cheer you on for the dreams you have. I feel blessed and honoured to be associated with these fine humble people. There's much to learn yet.

That drive back really fostered our relationships. Felt so much closer to each other and the notes we wrote to each other along the way - edifying and encouraging each other - served to draw us closer on an emotional level. There is trust, hope and mutual understanding - the family I've always dreamt of in my worst painful days - now it seems I've found them.

Got back on Monday really late - at about 6.30pm - had team meeting till 9.30pm and finally got home at 10.30pm to sleep.

And now I've just got back from work - from a function at Mannix College. My mind was just too tired throughout the night. Just followed my instincts and went with the motion - not too exciting. Just wanted to get it over and done with and get home soon so I could rest and do the things I need to get to so that I can eventually get what I want.

Sacrifices are made to create space for growth.

chucKie

Dreams

Sometimes, your dreams will cause you to do things you never dreamed of.

It's because I don't want to be mediocre. It's because I started living to leave a legacy. It's because I want to inspire the world to rise up above the average and change their stars.

So I will have to make some painful changes. Temporary painful changes for a permanent change. Forgive me if you don't understand now. I promise I will make up for lost time.

chucKie

Rock the boat

When you experience turbulence, high choppy waters or a mighty storm - do not attempt to resist. You will only hurt yourself. Go with the flow. Study the rhythm. Take it on like you would in dance class. Let it rock you. Let it move you.

Just don't resist change and begin to win.

chucKie

Harbour

Will be at the Harbour taking in all the view in less than 24 hours from now. Wonder how that will feel - dining with people whom I've learnt to respect and love - my family almost. Sigh, does love have to come to this healing port? Certainly feels right.

See ya'll in a few days.

chucKie

Anyway ...

Anyway, for the lifetime of me, I'm not even sure of so many things. But one thing I know is that things are changing and definitely moving out of the box. I'm so happy as I look back at the bad and good and not so good decisions I made. Ended up here. Feels really really satisfying.

I'm hungry and an egg is simmering in the hot water, waiting to slip down my throat and fill me up with bursting protein goodness. Heh. Good morning ya'll! Can't believe I woke up at 8.30am and got out of bed, yeah the type where you finally get sick of lazing in bed, at 9.00am. Early bird catches the worm - in my case, a nice soft boiled egg, wholemeal toast with marmalade spread and skinny flat white to usher me into this beautiful day.

The sun is bright and fierce out there. In my kitchen I can feel the warm rays melting the cold mist on the kitchen sink. Still, it will only sit at a max of 20 degrees. And damn, my cable TV is like disconnected cos I forgot to pay my premium which is due today! Silly ....

On to me brekky...

chucKie

Disclaimer

Please don't read me anymore if you find that my writing here affects you such that it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, gives you sleepless nights and causes you to lose hope in this wonderful life.

Thought I'd just mention it as a side note.

chucKie

Poetry Class

Long Trenches
Still swirling waters
Fleeting leaves

Screaming crickets
Burning autumn days
- Abandoned Books

Water Soaked Nymphs
Rising out of the weather
Kidnapped

Quicksand Tales
On a ballroom dance floor
Fresh Fodder

Archetypal phobia
Chain reaction visions
Debt on the gravel

"... this is so not Haiku ..."

Lol!

chucKie

Outbreak

The Sars virus seems to be on the loose. Reading reports on CNA and Straits Times online is giving me a anxiety headache.

Pray, people. Pray.

chucKie

Fumes in my Chimney

I am bloating with such anger I can just explode.

TPG sucks. That's my first rule of call. TPG sucks. I will say it again. TPG sucks. I hope Google picks up this key word. They are an ADSL broadband company in Australia and they are TPG. TPG suck big big and did I say BIG time!!!!!!

First, they charge $99 for just switching on your port so you could connect to broadband. That took 15 working days! I can understand that. Of which they already charged $308.85 to my credit card when they first got my application. And yes, the 15 days of wait after that.

Then, now they come back and tell me the configuration is wrong - cos I chose the wrong mode - which is router mode - which, for the tech record, should have been bridged according to my hardware configuration. The website wasn't clear in explaining what confirguration was for what hardware. Since I had an ADSL modem and an SMC router, I would think that it would be in router mode. So would you. But no, I was mistaken. Actually, no, I was misled.

So now, they inform me they have to charge another $99 connection fee. ANOTHER $99!!! They seriously need to reconfigure their customer relations department. Or someone's head should roll!!!

They couldn't waive it. And insists that it was my mistake. Cos they had to pay Telstra to reconnect. How about their mistake?

And I have to wait for another 5 - 8 working days!

Thing is, I was almost shouting at the customer service rep but kept it down cos I know it wasn't her fault.

So now, I am losing one arm just for this stupid misinformation on the TPG website. Should I have to pay for this? I think it's pretty clear here.

TPG SUCKS! And I'm going to make sure they and their potential customers know of it. It's a trap I tell ya!

chucKie

Paddle

When you know you are going to be swept away, paddle hard. Paddle with all your might. With your last gasp of air and last hope of strength. Just paddle, damn it!

chucKie